Just this once
by kitkat1003
Summary: A summary of angst and feels and happiness seen throughout The Property of hate, told in RGB's point of view.


He asks if she wants to be a hero.

It's a cycle of his. Find someone willing, take them along on an adventure.

 _Watch them die._

After the first five times he stops caring.

She nods, smiling, and her grin is so innocent that it hurts. He moves to wait outside the door, but she stops him.

She asks him to help her down.

It is odd, how simple the task is, and how much it bothers him to do so.

"Fine, but just this once."

She is resilient, he notices as they begin. She says goodbye to her mother in the form of 'I love you', but does not cry as they leave. Many heroes had cried as the journey began. He think it's the 'I love you' that stops him from telling her the whole truth, that she can never be her mother's child again, that her identity will be lost.

It's also the reason he does not ask for her name.

He'd hate to watch it become lost.

* * *

The fears come faster than ever, and it worries him.

 _How had I not predicted this? How was I so blind? Is she going to die now? Am I going to have to start over?_

She runs, trying to help him, and he's getting closer to the water and he's terrified, words are coming out of his speaker and they sound like static.

Suddenly, the force on his head is gone, and there is a swirl of dust in the air from the vial. He turns to congratulate her for saving him.

She is curled into herself, trembling, hands clenching the fabric of her coat like a lifeline, like she can pull herself together. He sighs, picking her up off the ground. He'll save her this time.

(Just this once.)

* * *

Sometime later, after Madras gives him an earful of wisdom he doesn't need, and TOby tries to dissuade them form their journey, they stop to rest in an apparition of a graveyard. The schism in the Hero's heart is closed, and she looks almost scared as she walks into the grey area. She pretends to be nonchalant about it, and it's so obvious it's annoying.

"I can't sleep," She says, like the child she is, and it hits him like a punch to the stomach about how _young_ she is.

(But he doesn't remember what a punch to the stomach feels like, because he doesn't _have_ a stomach anymore.)

He sighs, like the world is on his back and he is carrying it(he's not, he's putting the weight on her because he's a _coward_.), and asks if she wants to watch the television.

(Just this once.)

She smiles, and he pretends it doesn't make him feel better.

He explains how his system works, and nods, but before he can finish, he's lost to a world of black. The noise from the program is just barely heard in his mind, and, he lets himself rest, without a care in the world or a dream on his mind.

It takes about two hours until she turns the screen back to static, and with a little alarm he feels her squeeze her way into a comfortable position in his lap.

The dream comes before he can stop it, and he forgets the warm feeling in his chest he has when she puts his arm on top of her to keep herself out of the cold.

* * *

After the Idea situation, he can tell something is wrong.

She's going so _slow_ , like she's carrying weights(The weights he put on her, because he was to _weak_ to carry them himself, because he's been running from those weights and problems with each Hero he takes and each Hero he _kills_ ), and her expression is nothing short of contemplative and sad.

She asks to go back, and the world stops.

 _Why do they always ask to go back? Why do they make me hurt them by saying this?_

"You can't," He says, and she yells at him. Her face is full of anger, but there's hurt there, just barely, and it makes him want to scream.

He asks for her name, and she crumples. Her eyes are wide, tears streaming from them, and she pull her hood over her head to hide them. He waits for a moment, then says to keep moving.

"NO! GO AWAY! You're mean! And confusing! And I hate you!" He's never had one really scream at him this way.

"I HATE YOU!"

The words don't hurt him. He doesn't care.

 _Liar Liar Liar._

He leaves her there, and his thoughts spiral.

 _Doubts._

He finds the leech on his foot, and throws it away, running back to where she was.

 _Why did I not hear them slither in the grass? Why was I so careless?_

She's covered in doubts, and he rips them off. Then there's fear, and grief, and he trying his best, trying to protect her because she was hurt and she's so young and maybe he is tired of being the coward. He tries so hard to keep her safe from the monsters around him.

(Just this once.)

He fails. He fails because he is useless. He fails because he is a coward. The grief stares at him with bright white eyes, and it _**burns**_ _, it burns make it stop_ _ **please.**_

The world goes black.

* * *

When he wakes up, he is in a strange place with no recollection of how he appeared there. She is climbing the tree behind him, and he follows her after Assock's communication skills stopped working. There's arguing and make-ups and laughter, and suddenly she is falling, just like he feared, and he's reaching out to catch her but he can't get to her fast enough. His hand going limp as she's impaled by a sharp branch.

Silence.

Assock is trying to apologize, and he comforts him, pretends that it's the sock that's sad, and not himself.

 _I have to start over. I have to find another. I have to take this one to the graveyard I made for_ _ **every Hero lost.**_

Then, she speaks, and he jumps in surprise. His mind is scrambled, words like _how_ and _thank god_ (or whoever was up there), but she somehow makes light of the situation.

And as they lay on the tree to sleep, he squashes down that relief he had felt, giving her his coat so she isn't cold.

(Just this once.)

* * *

After the tree flies high, and Julienne disappears with Melody, he watches as the Hero shies away from the dark path ahead. It is almost a relief that she is scared, because he doesn't think a fearless hero would be a good one. She looks so small(she's so young, he keeps forgetting), and Assock is on her shoulder, almost comforting.

He holds out his hand.

(Just this once.)

 _Trust me._

She almost looks excited, but then fear takes over her face, and her reply is stutters.

"I don't trust you," She chokes out, and he pretends the declaration doesn't sting. Then, she continues, speaking of the people she's met and how the trust them(not true, they would never trust me.), a wide smile on her face as she finishes, waiting. He holds out his cane to her, relieved, because he doesn't want to tell her that he doesn't hold hands because he can't _feel_ it the way he used to, when he had skin and a name that wasn't made of three capital letters. She grabs the wood, and he walks with her into the shadows. Madras's words travel through his head.

 _Careful. You musn't get attached to her._

Looking at the child, with her too big green boots, and her clothes that hung off her, and he rbrown hair and kind smile, he decides that he could care. He could care about this Hero.

(Just this once.)


End file.
